I smile

Sitting here with tears streaming

Been in the same spot for so long I’m drowning

Suffocating for a lease of life

Crying until I’ve forgotten what I was crying for

Continuously feeling a lack of control

Seeking temporary fulfilment 

Then I’m back

In the dark

Wondering if everything I’ve believed in so far was only a dream

In the mist of a nightmare

People forever giving out opinions for free 

But then ask me to earn their motivation and assistance

In the form of success

Huh.. Backwards

I realise I’m not the only one confused

It seems society is 

Chasing happiness is what has made a lot of people lose respect for me 

Can you imagine

To laugh and smile brings negativity

Because money is the only reason

Only solution only truth

So for me to be happy I will lose so much

I will have to continue wailing to gain happiness

I will have to fight and become drained to prove that my happiness is worth the same as any other

I will cry

I will cry

I used to care when I felt as though people didn’t respect me

Understand that now when I cry it is not for you

Not for your opinion

Not for your beliefs 

But only for the doubt in mine

When I wipe my tears away I smile

I am not broken

I am not broken